Own your values, own your power.Apr 08, 2021
Have you ever felt the guilt wash over you after you laughed when someone told an offensive joke about a marginalized group of people? Or maybe you just stood there silently instead of speaking your truth.
If you’re like most deep feelers, the fact that you didn’t speak up when a group of people were stereotyped and laughed at stays with you for hours, maybe days after (or even longer).
There’s so much injustice and pain in the world, and people like us desire so badly to right the wrongs so that everyone can live a happy, fulfilling life, free of oppression, and able to realize their power.
So when we empaths fail to live our values and own our power, we feel it viscerally. Because we know that it not only hurts us on an individual level, but also contributes to the pain of humanity on a societal and worldwide level.
This is just one example of how we give away our power when we don’t live our values.
But we often get stuck in that trap of not living up to our own standards, and it shows up in a myriad of ways… like when we don’t ask for what we need because we don’t want to be a bother… when we say we value closing the pay gap, but continue to undercharge in our business… when we stay in jobs, places, or relationships that feel suffocating.
These are all choices we make when we feel powerless.
“For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson
When that twinge of guilt and shame we feel from not standing up for our values, ourselves, and others turns into a rolling boil that we can no longer keep a lid on, we’ve reached our breaking point. Things. Must. CHANGE.
First, we must forgive.
Forgive ourselves for putting our needs and values aside for so long and giving away our power. And work to heal and forgive the ways power was taken from us without our consent.
I found so much transformative healing and forgiveness through journaling, which led me to the courage needed to speak my truth and live according to my values.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy on this side of healing. It’s not. Vulnerability is still scary sometimes. Saboteurs still show up uninvited and try to crash the party. But now that I’ve seen the power of real healing, courage, and intentional living through my values, there’s no going back.
Nothing changes if I’m comfortable. So I take a breath and lean into that shit. Hard.
You can, too. I know you can. Because you’re powerful as f*ck. Even if you don’t feel like it yet.
I invite you to start journaling your way to forgiveness with the following prompts. Find a quiet spot. Turn off your notifications. Set a timer for 11 minutes, and write until you get to the stuff that makes you want to throw your journal across the room; that’s when you know you’re making progress!
Forgiveness journaling prompts
- First, say out loud what you need to forgive yourself for. Then, begin to journal: When I said out loud what I need to forgive myself or, I noticed…
- What do I need to release OR do to forgive _____________ (one person’s name)? What’s important about that?
- What’s possible in creating a new story when I reclaim my power through forgiveness?